Whose life is it anyway?

So we enter into Holy Week where we follow the passion, death and resurrection of the life of Jesus. This week seems to come upon us so quickly that we can lose track of time and what has happened during Lent. Our practice of prayer, fasting and almsgiving helps us to see more clearly what God wants to reveal to us about our own life. This is not just our need to give things up but rather to show us what is central to our life. This can at times be a rude shock because in discovering who I am we discover a God who wishes to encounter us as we are even in our own sin, failures and broken promise. This is the heart of Lent not so much what we do but how God seeks us out to discover our who we are called to be. This is not an easy time because we start to realise that our Lenten discipline is about us opening the door and inviting God into the mess. We would much prefer it if God would come back when we have it all together. 

Thus we come to the point where the pain and suffering seem to come to an end in what feels like death to us. The Paschal Triduum can actually take us through a process of death and dying where we relive the hurts and losses that we have encountered in life. It is not easy because we can start to feel a deep loneliness and isolation. The emptiness feels too present and we look to ways in which we can avoid it. Even on Good Friday, there can be a rush to turn on the TV and watch the footy or undertake some other activity to avoid this deep absence which descends upon us. This is the liminal space in which everything changes and in which the absence transforms us. Holy Saturday is probably the most misunderstood of our days. There are very few actions but only a deep silence which falls upon us. The tabernacle is empty, the altar is bare, the Church echoes and our souls cry out for meaning. The very person we hoped to solve it for us has left the stage and leaves us with ourselves. This great scandal feels bereft of hope, lacking faith and challenging all that we love. This is the moment when we are called to be most present to the absence.

It is from this space that we encounter Easter Morning but not in the way we expect. The empty tomb says that he has risen but yet we do not see him. This is the beginning of a new life in which he reaches out to us from the very place in which we experienced the deep emptiness, loneliness and sadness. The place where we encountered our deepest fears and our darkest night. Yet it is from that place that he draws us forth into the light and walks with us on the way. He encounters us as we are and travels along the pilgrim way. Easter is no longer just about what we want but discovering who we belong to. The question that we now ask is whose am I and how will I live my life. The question is now no longer whose life is it but rather whose am I?