Whom do we seek?

 When we enter into prayer there is an anticipation that we will grow closer to God and that God can draw closer to us. Yet this is not an exact science where a particular form or method will work. Yet it is actually a call to enter deeper into a relationship where God takes the initiative and invites us to listen more closely. We are not just called to hear our own voice but rather the voice of God holding us in silence.

I think too often we can be like Peter, James, and John when we climb a high mountain and taste the rarified air. This intoxicating feeling can overcome us and blind us with a loving presence that transcends our every day.  These occasions seem too rare or infrequent that we want to hold on to them and like Peter build three tents to contain our insight. Often like the modern habit of wanting to capture the moment with our mobiles or cameras, we do not want to lose the experience. Yet when we look at these photos later they do not quite meet our expectations and we wonder what it was that we were seeking.

In these dark nights, God encounters us in a way that seems to be devoid of words and images. Like being plunged into a cloud of unknowing where we can become afraid that we encounter only darkness and even separation from the one we seek. Yet in these moments we are no longer called to listen to our thoughts, ideas, or images but rather the quiet still voice which says this is my beloved Son listen to him. This allows us to become aware that our lives are not just centered on our own striving but rather on a God who envelops us and surrounds us.

These encounters allow us in these wordless, imageless moments to ponder more deeply a God who is at the heart of all things and who is no-thing. God holds us closer so that our lives may become a blessing not just for ourselves but for others. That we may proclaim life which transforms our very being. It helps us to be enfolded into a way of being present that transfigures our world.